Pessimistic Optimism

Life as I see it… sort of.

Urine Trouble

Today, I experienced something for free that I heard some people pay good money for.  Not me, just some people and maybe not good money.  Let’s just say it has something to do with the words “shower” and “golden”, but not necessarily in that order.

Before you get your panties in a bunch and judge me, let me explain myself.  It might be as gross as you think, but probably not as seedy.  I mean, it’s not like I enjoyed it… much.

A typical day took place before this, you know: cereal for breakfast with the kids; watch Sesame Street; kick the dog; and give the kids a bath.  The end of bath-time proved to be my downfall.  While drying my son off outside the tub something just didn’t feel right.  A warm sensation spread across my thigh and something caught my attention peripherally.  It was a yellow spritz of liquid traveling through the air with no concern of where or whom it hit.  My slug-like reaction time helped soak the throw rug and myself before I could plug the stream with the towel.

I swear the boy just laughed when I informed him of his offense.  And when I told him that it was gross he mockingly made a face and said “Arrh” a couple times.  I don’t think he comprehended the utter disgust I felt at that moment even when I punished him by placing him back in the tub to be washed again.  It probably didn’t help that he loves being in the tub and that I really wasn’t utterly disgusted, maybe not even mildly disgusted, but he doesn’t need to know that.

Now that the moment’s passed I’ve had a few moments to ponder what took place today.  My son PEED on me.  My son PEED on me and LAUGHED about it.  Now that I got that off my chest, er, I mean, leg, we can all get back to our lives again.  I mean, it was only a little pee, well maybe not a little, but it was only pee.  Like I said, some people pay for this kind of thing.  Not me though…   


December 3, 2007 - Posted by | family, Humor, kids, life, parenthood, parenting


  1. Ah, relief! (that’s not referring to what your son was thinking either) You are among the land of the living still! Welcome back. Hope to see more posts from you in the near future.

    Comment by Aunt Weather | December 4, 2007 | Reply

  2. Well, I see I am not the only one under the heap of forsaken posts. But boy oh boy,I can relate! To both, the heap and the urine. I read somewhere in here, that misery loves company. Your misery is my misery. Ummm… yep, as much as I try to get him ready to aim for the Cherrios in the bowl…he manages to get ahead of me…and well… you know the rest of the story.

    Comment by The Grandmother | February 27, 2008 | Reply

  3. WOW! I knew I was gone for quite a while myself and glad to know you and I weren’t alone. I have to admit that when I read those first couple of lines I thought “OMG what happened to this man and his blog?” Wheeew! Glad to know you were only peed on by your child! Just wait until you have teenagers who crap on you! No, not really! I’m just saying that to scare you! I love to tell people horror stories so they’ll have something to look forward to.
    It’s so much fun!!!

    Comment by Zoning Out Again | March 16, 2008 | Reply

  4. A.W.,
    I think you wrote that comment from a different timezone and continent. Hope you’re reading again.

    He’ll learn… eventually.

    Thanks for checking on my well-being.

    Comment by linusmann | March 20, 2008 | Reply

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