Pessimistic Optimism

Life as I see it… sort of.

Decisions To Live By

Not many things in life are as easy as being a parent.  I mean kids these days practically raise themselves.  Because my children really have it so together, I try to stay in the background as much as possible unless they need my help with something small, like: eating, drinking, dressing, or defecating.

Occasionally they do need guidance because they are only four and two and I try to expel my astuteness as succinctly as possible.  It sounds easier than it actually is because I can really drag out an explanation if I’m in my chair of wisdom.  That particular chair’s located at a friend’s house where I’ve been known to enjoy a few cocktails, and my kids are mostly at my house so they usually aren’t put through that arduous assault on their listening devices, aka ears.  Today was one of those times that a reasonable adult was needed to point my little girl in the right direction and fortunately my wife was the one that was home.  Our little angel wants a tattoo.  Yes, a freaking tattoo.  A freaking tattoo on her freaking back.

It really was a good thing that I wasn’t the one home because for a moment I thought that it’d be cool to have the only preschooler, that I know of, with a tattoo.  Her juvenile choice of ink brought me back to earth so I didn’t even try to persuade my wife.  She wants candy corn on her shoulder.  I mean, let’s be real here, that’s such a time-sensitive piece of body art.  It’d just look kind of stupid in April.  Besides, the girl’s four-years-old and everyone knows that bad life choices should wait until your at least ten or eleven.

I’m glad that I could be there for my non-branded little girl, again.  She’s very smart but my infinite guidance is always waiting in the wings if she needs it.  Lucky girl!


October 21, 2007 - Posted by | family, Humor, kids, life, parenthood, parenting


  1. SO I probably shouldn’t show her my candy corn tattoo when I come home?

    Comment by Aunt Weather | October 22, 2007 | Reply

  2. I think you dealt well with the whole situation from the safety of your wisdom chair. You have much to look forward to my friend. My daughter actually got herself a tattoo when she was about 15. It was strategically located so dad here, didn’t even realize it was there. I didn’t even know about it until years later.
    Seek the wisdom of that chair, you are going to need it.

    Comment by Bill Howdle | October 24, 2007 | Reply

  3. A.W.,
    You can show her whatever you like, just don’t take her to the tattoo parlor because even though she’s advanced for her age (gifted), she still can’t drive.

    If my daughter secretly gets a tattoo I hope that I don’t find out… ever. Maybe I should find a way to move my chair of wisdom to my house when my buddy’s not looking.

    Comment by linusmann | October 25, 2007 | Reply

  4. I just wanted to pop in to say hi. I have been missing your posting, your sharing of wisdom. I hope all is well with you and I look forward to reading more wisdom in the future.
    Take care my friend

    Comment by Bill Howdle | November 16, 2007 | Reply

  5. Bill,
    Thanks for checking on me. Everything is fine at my end except that I barely turn on the computer right now… I can’t find the knob. I hope all is as well as can be expected on your end, I see that you are still inspiring the masses on your blog. Keep up the good work.

    I’m not sure if I’ll be posting for a while because of other ventures in my life at the moment. You know, things like eating and watching the WWF. Yeah, that’s right, the world wildlife federation, not wrestling… not that there’s anything wrong with that. I guess I’m partially pretty busy and occasionally lazy. Hopefully I’ll be spreading my words of discouragement in the somewhat near-future.

    Comment by linusmann | November 24, 2007 | Reply

  6. I miss your wisdom and hope all is well and that you will be back online soon.

    Comment by Bill Howdle | November 26, 2007 | Reply

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