Pessimistic Optimism

Life as I see it… sort of.

Emergency Guidelines or Mere Suggestions

When I’m not playing with my wife and/or kids or writing I’m probably working at my 48 hours-a-week side job, firefighting.  This time-killer gives me an inside view of what many people do in extreme situations or at least stressful ones.  Unfortunately, I’m disappointed often by a lot of people’s attitudes toward emergency situations, their lack of realization that it is an emergency situation, or the fact that I have to see these people sans make-up or clothing a little too often. 

I’d like to rhetorically ask you some questions about some of the things I encounter on a daily basis.   

If four firefighters with medical equipment were in an elevator would you get on and press a lower floor?  What if you were about to be late for work or really had to pee?

I hope your answer to both questions was a resounding no, but I know some people are oblivious to their surroundings whatever the situation is before them.  In fact, this happened to me the other day when a rude little man reached into the elevator and pressed four immediately after hearing us say we we’re going to eight so we kindly helped him out of the elevator doorway and left him behind to feel shame.  People like this are not only ignorant and selfish, but also downright pathetic and should be made to wait the next time something bad happens to them, like an axe to their forehead or a fire hose tied too tightly around their neck.

If an alarm’s ringing in your apartment building and firefighters are going in loaded with heavy equipment and SCBAs (air tanks) on their backs should you walk into the building and get in their way?  What if your dog or turtle was still in your apartment or you left the pigs’ knuckles in the frying pan?

Again, I hope you answered no.  Normal people get out of the way of firefighters during an emergency situation unless they have pertinent information to share, like which apartment the stove’s left on in or if their grandma’s doing yoga naked in 4B.  Some things you need to be mentally prepared for.

If an emergency vehicle’s driving with lights flashing and sirens blaring either behind you or coming towards you should you pull to the side of the road or at the least stop your vehicle before it’s on your ass?  What if you might end up sitting through another red light and might miss the first five minutes of Judge Judy as a result?

This time the answer should be yes unless you want a fire truck to do its best monster truck impression on your VW Jetta or you don’t need your hearing, which will be impaired by the air horn pressed incessantly until you are in our dust.  You probably won’t be shot the bird physically, but make it understood it is being sent telepathically fourfold.

Feel free to pass this information on to your friends, loved ones and local politicians, unless they’re in the airport restroom because they might take that for something else, the politicians that is (see Larry Craig, US Senator for Idaho).


August 30, 2007 - Posted by | firefighting, Humor, life, Ranting


  1. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately…more than likely the latter, there are more idiots such as the ones you speak of, out there in the world. I’ve run into them in my travels. So what happens when you’re in the elevator with all your life saving equipment at your highly stressful profession, and a little ankle biter thinks its funny when they press all the buttons in the elevator and then gets out before the door closes? What do you do then?
    Miss ya!

    Comment by Aunt Weather | September 2, 2007 | Reply

  2. Oh geeze.
    I think the fella should be glad you let him OFF the elevator.

    *shaking head*
    Some people’s kids, eh?

    Comment by Mel | September 7, 2007 | Reply

  3. A.W.,
    Ankle biters are NOT exempt from the law (of common courtesies).

    I wish I would have thought to take him for the ride and make him meet the person he delayed care from, but I think kidnapping can give someone(me) a poor public image.

    Comment by linusmann | September 11, 2007 | Reply

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