Pessimistic Optimism

Life as I see it… sort of.

Gearing Up for Winter

I remember the days when I could just put on my coat and boots and head out the door.  It must have taken two minutes, tops.  These days I have to start getting the kids ready the night before if I just think we might go somewhere.  Wearing their boots to bed took a little getting used to for them, but they adjusted.

There are a lot of positives in the winter time (when I think of one I’ll get back to you), getting little kids ready to go outside is not one of them.  I wish that I could just throw a jacket and some sneakers on them and hit the road, but the authorities and my freezing kids might look down on that, so I actually bundle them up with layers and snow gear.  By the time I’m done they’re lucky if they can wiggle a finger let alone take a step.

No matter what we’re doing or where we’re going, my daughter and son always have a toy as small as a matchbox car or as big as a rocking horse in their hands when it’s time to put their coats on.  We could be in the middle of nowhere, naked, and they’d have toys in their hands.  No matter how small it is it never fits through the sleeve so I take it away and set it on the ground close by.  As soon as I try to put the second arm in they bend over to retrieve the object of their needed handal fixation.  This drives me crazy.  So much so, that I want to heave the thing across the room to demonstrate my frustration, but instead I throw the toy.

By the time we’re actually ready to go I’m exhausted and someone’s whining.  I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not always me.  As I put my hand on the door handle one of two things usually happens: my daughter has to go potty; or I catch a whiff of something ungodly in the general direction of my son.  The latter is more common and more work.  I’ve considered ignoring it, but, as I learned the hard way, it doesn’t go away on its own.  In fact, it spreads itself as far as it can, which is absolutely no good for any of the parties involved.

I figured that going through all this misery would pay itself off eventually in character building and patience learning, but unfortunately I’m the same impatient prick that I was before I was a parent, but not with the kids, of course… usually.

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February 7, 2007 - Posted by | Humor, kids, parenthood, parenting

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