It’s freaking cold outside. This is the type of cold that not only freezes your nose hairs, but also tunnels under your layers of clothing and sends a chill up your ass… I need to stop wearing those low-rise jeans. The little temperature reading on the morning news reads 5 degrees, and that’s not Centigrade for you metric freaks.
In most winters a January freeze is no big deal in Western New York, but this year Mother Nature let us off easy after kicking our ass in the October Surprise storm, until now, so I wasn’t mentally prepared for it. Not that I’m mentally prepared for most things in life, but that’s a different story.
Some regular routines have to be altered to survive in this weather. One of them is how you take care of your pets. Hopefully the kids or Al Roker don’t distract me enough this morning after I let my dog out in the yard. I’d hate to go to the back door an hour later and find him frozen to the deck, it’s a bitch to clean this time of year. Yes, even dogs shouldn’t be exposed to this weather very long, with a few exceptions, like Huskies and poodles. Did I mention my dislike for poodles? As for cats, I think owners are encouraged to let them out in this weather, even if they’re primarily house cats. Those shut-ins need to see the outside world and there’s no better time than now. Little frozen whiskers are good character builders and it let’s them know who’s the boss… at least until they thaw out.
My kids aren’t in school yet so they don’t have to be exposed to this cold, unless I’m out of Budweiser or cheese. But I’d hope they could drink something else until this chill blows over. I probably won’t take them outside today because of the hypothermia and frostbite dangers, but if they don’t behave I might shut the heat off for a little while and keep them in the den, where the average temperature on a 45 degrees day is 48 degrees. I’m kidding, I wouldn’t do that to the little bastards, but I can’t speak for my wife.
I guess the most important thing to keep in mind while we’re freezing our behinds off in Buffalo, Paris Hilton and friends are suffering, too. The high in Beverly Hills is only going to hit 66 degrees today.