Pessimistic Optimism

Life as I see it… sort of.

NJ Transit Train Ride Attack

Traveling with kids is usually much easier with extra hands around, unless the other adults decide to use their hands for evil instead of good.  I’m not talking about EVIL evil, just evil.

We took the train from Jersey to NYC and back last week while visiting Uncle and Aunt NJ.  The visit to the Big Apple was a lot of fun, but I’ll blabber about that in another post… if I get around to it, short-term memory loss is a bitch.  I must have had too many PopTarts in college.

Accidentally, or on purpose, we were separated mostly by girls and boys.  There were three other guys and my son in my “booth” and my wife was with two chicks, a guy, and our daughter.  The two chicks were Aunt Weather and Aunt NJ and they were the ones that decided to disfigure our little angel.  Maturity obviously doesn’t get in the way of a good time in these women’s lives, at least not when a defenseless child is involved.

Somehow my wife didn’t see what was going on during the train ride.  She must have been trying to rest while some trusting “adults” were around to take care of our three-year-old wonder child.  I don’t blame her because I tried to do the same with the boy, but he insisted on climbing all over me during the trip.

The Aunt duo decided to “take” our daughter’s features away as the ride went on.  I’m not sure of the order of the removals, but from what it sounds like they took away her face piece by piece.  You know the old game, “I’ve got your nose”, well they took it to the next level.  Her eyes, mouth, ears, and various other parts were taken without putting anything in their places.

I don’t know how long the torture went on, but it really drained our formerly beautiful princess.

“Mommy, I don’t feel so well,” she said to my now attentive wife.

My wife thought she was going to be covered in little girl-puke from motion sickness until she said that her face was gone.  Somehow our daughter felt the imaginary theft of her facial features.  Did I mention before that she has a huge imagination?

My wife comforted her and forced the giddy aunts to give the little face back.  They reluctantly obliged and our daughter was made whole again.  She smiled and was back to her question-asking self within seconds.

After hearing this story from my S’s-I-L I just hope that my wife pays attention to me when I’m in their presence.



January 17, 2007 - Posted by | Humor, kids, parenthood


  1. I took her eyelashes last. And almost forgot to reattach them when she reminded me they were missing from her adorable face. I only took one side before she “didn’t feel well”, but she made me put back her eyelashes on both sides, so she may have an extra set on her right side…
    Hello Tammy Faye!

    Comment by Aunt Weather | January 19, 2007 | Reply

  2. You sound as though you have no remorse about this incident.
    As for the Tammy Faye comment, I think I saw someone actually wearing false eyelashes about two weeks ago.

    Comment by linusmann | January 21, 2007 | Reply

  3. no remorse – funny as shit though!!! THEY WERE YOUR WIFE’S FAKE EYELASHES MIND YOU!!!

    Comment by Aunt Weather | January 22, 2007 | Reply

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