I Touched My Daddy’s Underwear
Kids say the darnedest things! Isn’t that the truth? My wife and I heard our daughter utter a strange statement while we listened to her monitor tonight.
“I touched my daddy’s underpants,” she said in between her giggles.
After the shock wears off and hopefully before you call the police, let me at the least try to explain what happened.
We tend to get a little silly when we put the kids to bed at night and tonight was no different. The boy still grinned from ear to ear as we walked out of his room because of the bouncing and swinging he did right before we laid him down.
Our daughter ran from his room ahead of us so we could “get” her in the big-girl bed. This is where she came up with her incriminating phrase. My wife tried unsuccessfully to give me a wedgie as I bent down to kiss our beautiful little girl. For some reason this made our daughter and my wife crack up. I wanted to give my daughter a hug so I bent over again and my immature wife tried again despite the straight-arm attempt. I shot back up without the hug and advised her not to touch my underwear. Our daughter loved that one so much that she couldn’t stop giggling. I reasoned with my wife and insisted that she let me give the girl a hug. She didn’t answer me, partly because she was laughing so hard, but I took that as a green light to finalize my good night to the mature female in the family. I was wrong, because she did it again and luckily she was just as unsuccessful as the other two attempts.
The next thing I remember was walking out of the room emasculated, but laughing so much that it hurt. I walked down the stairs with my wife and heard our little girl say that line.
“I touched my daddy’s underpants.”
My only problem with the statement was that my daughter didn’t actually participate in the wedgie attempt. There’s going to be hell to pay for my wife if I find my son hanging on the doorknob from his diaper tomorrow.