Pessimistic Optimism

Life as I see it… sort of.

Germ Invasion

“Stop crying!  Stop crying!  Stop crying!”

After I composed myself, I answered my daughter’s plea.  Today has been a rough day in our household because I infected my whole family with whatever I had two weeks ago.  These germs must have some type of bear gene that helps them hibernate for a week or so.

My son has it the worst and doesn’t say much, so figuring out what’s wrong is a guessing game.  Actually, today he’s said a lot.  Mostly, “Ooooh, oooh, ooh, oh.”  He can do this for twenty minutes without taking a breath.  The “most annoying sound” from Dumb and Dumber was “Stairway to Heaven” compared to this grating mouth emission.  He repeated this ungodly noise no matter what we did for him and wouldn’t let me set him down for more than a second at a time.  He used my shirt as his personal Kleenex.  Hopefully his germs don’t make repeat appearances because they already had their way with me.

For some reason my daughter expects some attention even though her brother is sicker than she is.  How selfish of her to demand that we still feed and bathe her.  You’d think a three-year-old would be self-sustainable.

My wife is not feeling her best either, but hasn’t complained much… out loud.  I’m trying not to put too much on her shoulders, so I decided to limit my shower time to forty-five minutes and I won’t go golfing today.  Well, maybe just nine holes.

Maybe we should invite some friends over for dinner and a virus infection.  If the germs taste new blood they might vacate our home and let us get on with our lives.

Hmmm, whom should I call?   


September 14, 2006 - Posted by | Humor, parenthood

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